Diapers, milk and pesky mum
My mum thinks that I don't know how to take care of my baby boy. Well, I don't know how to take care of him the way she takes care of him.
Just yesterday evening he was crying and I offered to carry him. Her words, "You won't be able to care for him when he cries like this."
Fine but don't complain if I don't seem to have a lot of hands on activities with the little one. Not that I do not want to hold him but I just don't have the opportunity to hold him. I am a very hands on father and one of the things that is important to me is that I get to hold my children. That during this period they know who their father is. In this case the joy of fatherhood has been slowly taken away from me by my mum.
Though her intention is good but by sheltering me from the task of holding my children or changing their diaper, I actually lose out on a lot of things. Its sad but I live with it. For the record, I can change diapers, make milk, give the baby a bath, cuddle, cradle; all the things that a father should be doing.
It highlights the issue of whether the child is really my baby or my parents baby. Whether my parents (my mum in particular) is living out the life of a mother to children she did not have. That in her eyes, her grandson is now her child. This takes away a lot of things from the actual parents. We lose out on the parenting experience because the task has been taken away from us. We don't have quality time with our kids from the early years. This is what I fear. That eventually we lose touch with our own children when they are still infants. That we don't feel that they are our children, a mental barrier that forms in our minds.
At the end of the day, it just amounts to more stress.
Just yesterday evening he was crying and I offered to carry him. Her words, "You won't be able to care for him when he cries like this."
Fine but don't complain if I don't seem to have a lot of hands on activities with the little one. Not that I do not want to hold him but I just don't have the opportunity to hold him. I am a very hands on father and one of the things that is important to me is that I get to hold my children. That during this period they know who their father is. In this case the joy of fatherhood has been slowly taken away from me by my mum.
Though her intention is good but by sheltering me from the task of holding my children or changing their diaper, I actually lose out on a lot of things. Its sad but I live with it. For the record, I can change diapers, make milk, give the baby a bath, cuddle, cradle; all the things that a father should be doing.
It highlights the issue of whether the child is really my baby or my parents baby. Whether my parents (my mum in particular) is living out the life of a mother to children she did not have. That in her eyes, her grandson is now her child. This takes away a lot of things from the actual parents. We lose out on the parenting experience because the task has been taken away from us. We don't have quality time with our kids from the early years. This is what I fear. That eventually we lose touch with our own children when they are still infants. That we don't feel that they are our children, a mental barrier that forms in our minds.
At the end of the day, it just amounts to more stress.
posted by Maclean Patrick | 1:35 PM
1 Comments:
Be careful about making milk, it's not common for men to be able to do that. leave that to the lactating mummy. heh
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